THE GREAT FUCKZINE WARS


pdf, with thanks to the original sharer

Dear Una,
I realize you don't write a column of advice on good manners, but what do you think of a lady who, when you're exhausted and already have a headache from drinking, plunks her ass down on your face and rubs herself off with your nose? My friends and relations are in disagreement about this.
Gus, GM, over 21

Dear Gus,
First of all, that's no lady, that's your wife. Heh, heh. But to get down to the nitty-clitty, as it were, essentially my column is about good manners, since manners are consideration, and successful sex, whatever your bag, is a matter of learning to get along to everyone's mutual satisfaction. Failure in bed is rude, ducky. And it seems to me you are the rude one to get so exhausted and drunk you can't gratify your lady fair. Unless your nose happens to be more lovable than your cock, in which case she's not being entirely deprived - and all you have to do is hold your breath or breathe through your mouth. Pussy hairs are an excellent filter for polluted air, they say. As for your friends and relatives, they will never never agree about your sex life anyway, so keep mum. Lie there like a man. And keep your nose clean.
Una

4 comments:

  1. Interesting how porn, back in the day, was kinda / sorta also an outlet for anti-authoritarian writing and transgressive expression. I've read all about how & why this was, but it doesn't really sink in for me til I read stuff like "Screw" in its un-edited form. Even modern porn guys like Eon McKai aren't making anywhere near the kind of bold statement "Screw" did when it was in its early years. I write that not to take anything away from Eon & others who tried (and continue to try) to bring some substance & thought to that world; its just so much tougher today in a world where porn is everywhere, its free, and its become almost boring.

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  2. Could I get a new link please? Thanks Johnny.

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    Replies
    1. Fred,
      I've just put a new link up in the main post.

      all the best,
      Johnny

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