anti-butt crack law: "Immoral self expression goes beyond free speech."

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The butt has always been more hardcore than the breast, which, while sexy, is also maternal, representing the nurturing nature of women. Even the Virgin Mary bares her breasts in classical paintings. Baring the butt sends an entirely different message, so opposite that of the breast that many religions regulate its exposure. You may, for instance, hold the Koran in your hand, press it to your bosom, or place it on your head, but you are forbidden to touch it to your buttocks. Rabbinic texts instruct men to undress facing north or south so that their bare buttocks will never face - and offend - God. The biblical apostle Paul declared the buttocks a "less honorable" part of the body which must not be shown in public.

before Vishnu, Yahweh, Jesus, or Allah, mankind worshipped pussy

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Paleolithic cave paintings found across Europe include triangular shapes with a central cleft that can only be interpreted as pussy. The Cave of Vulvas, found within the Tito Bustillo cave in Spanish Cantabria, is decorated with hundreds of crimson painted pussies. At Chufin Cave, in the same district, vulvas surround every hole in the rock. A half world away, the walls of Australia's Carnarvon Gorge are engraved with egg-shaped vulvas so numerous that the gorge has been named The Wall of One Thousand Vulvas. Prehistoric pussy is also found in the caves of India, Thailand, South Africa, and Patagonia - in short, on every continent except Antarctica - and even in such far-flung outposts as Easter Island, where vulvas are the second-most-common theme in rock art.

He said my bumps and grinds could launch a satellite into space

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We had gone out and had dinner a couple of times, then one morning we had a 2.30 show and I'm back to the hotel in my room and he calls and says, "Could I come over?" I said, "Well Elvis, there's no way in except the front. There's a back way, but you'd have to climb over the fence." He climbed that 8-foot fence, and tore his pants pretty bad. I had this little French poodle that I carried with me all the time.Called her Stormy.I locked her in the other room and the dog kept barking all night because of our noise. the next night the pit boss says, "Did you have a good time last night? We know who came in there last night."-Tempest Storm

One night I was dancing and I turned around and the wall kind of caught me,wouldn't let go.I had a hell of a saxophone man then, had my own drummer. I turned to Tony and I said, "I can't get off this wall. Use that saxophone, baby, and just suck me off of here." So he started going waeee, waaeee and you know, it worked, and I said, "Oh, that's good. Go up my backbone with that thing." I said, "Seduce me with that horn, baby." He went pppppp up my back and I'd bend over backwards and he'd go down the front. And I'd turn around and he'd go from one breast to the other and go pppppp. To my drummer, I said, "George, are you gonna let him take me away from you?" And George said, "I sure am not,baby" And George would go buh,buh,buh, buh. we made a finish at the center of the stage with that horn and that drum competing without ever touching me. This was at the Largo club on Sunset Strip in L.A.in the '50s and they came down and told me I had to tone my act down, told me my musicians had to stay in place.Ain't that ridiculous?-Candy Barr