this whole slew of crude recordings on shoestring labels.

pdf (190 pages / 135MB)

I had a friend who lived in this flat in west London - a really vile, scruffy, horrible, bloke's flat - but the one thing pristine in this mess was a Dansette in mint condition and a bunch of records on the auto changer. And they were all vintage London records, which he'd bought the first time round. And he wouldn't have parted with them, even though he was dirt poor. So I told him about Ted's stall, less than a minute's walk away. I remember the famous Elvis wallpaper and all these other stalls with their thin dividing walls, selling hippyish jewellery, retro clothing - and there, at the end of the row was a smelly, greasy caff - you'd go past the caff, and Ted had the whole back space, in an L-shape, with the stock behind the counter, belting out rock'n'roll and R&B at full blast.

turning over the slimeballs who made up the House of Windsor

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So much for the Buddhist principles this rich toe-rag professed to the world at large. It goes without saying that, like all the major world religions, Buddhism is a racket designed to keep the ruling class in power with their collective boot up the arses of the ordinary working man and woman. That said, Buddhism is particularly scummy in this respect since it was used to prop up completely repressive feudal regimes in places like Tibet. Humphreys had, of course, chummed up to that notorious snot-rag the Dalai Lama.

GLOSSARY OF SLANG [excerpt]
ARSEWIPE worthless person. Literally toilet roll.
CROSS-BITING shaking down a john for their money and valuables once they are in a compromising position with a woman they believe to be a prostitute. A man who claims to be the woman's husband appears and threatens the man lured into this trap with the promise of commercial sex.
FAKE AS A NINE BOB NOTE prior to the decimalisation of UK currency in 1971 the smallest note in circulation was worth ten shillings or ten bob (fifty pence after 1971). There was no such thing as a nine bob (nine shilling) note. Hence this phrase and the similar one 'as bent as a nine bob note'.
PONCE a pimp. Also a blag, asking to be given something - as in 'can I ponce a fag off you' or in polite speech 'would you let me have a cigarette please'. Also means someone with upperclass or effeminate speech and mannerisms.
TAKING THE PISS showing contempt. Sometimes deliberate ridicule or mockery, sometimes exhibiting contempt in terms of behaviour that it is hoped will pass unnoticed or unchallenged.

'You dirty little sod ... you want to make it with a dwarf.'

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He was a lovely guy, used to have a queers' club in the Haymarket, before the law changed, and that was where I met [names of famous stars deleted] and Shaky Sheila, who ran three clip-joints. Soho was always dangerous. It was dangerous in those days, when you had the Italian gangs and the Maltese; it was dangerous when the Krays were there, and it's still dangerous now with the Chinese. Soho has always been a dangerous place. There has always been sex and violence, with people disappearing without a trace. Nothing's changed, only the people who run the show. Most of the punters who came to Soho got what they came for. Sometimes you'd get the odd one who was a bit cheeky. Then I'd have to give 'em a backhander and tell 'em to get on their bike. The girls would come down to the pub if a geezer was causing problems. You'd get these guys who were quite happy being silly until they had to pay for it. I'd sort them out. No one asked them to come. ... 

Last time I was in the nick for anything serious was in 1980. The same time another feller comes in called Hugh Cornwell. Said he was lead guitarist with a pop group called The Stranglers. He had been done for drugs offences.

'I'm Hugh Cornwell,' he says.

'Oh,yeah.'

'I'm with The Stranglers.'

'Big deal!' I gave him a bucket and a brush and told him to clean the floor. No mop. Just a scrubbing brush. And he did not like it. I tell you: HE DID NOT LIKE IT!

"I've led a wicked life and I'm going straight to hell, that's for sure"

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There was ever present in the packing house a feeling of sex, the men watching the women, nudging each other and pointing out some big bottom or breast or mouth, finding the one beauty in women who were coarse and unbeautiful and showing their arms up to the elbow. Oh boy, would I like to ram it to her. And the women, not unmindful of this, but from their places on the pedestal, watching the men. That Joe, that hair on his chests, ummmmmm! Them big feet, you know what that means. What does it mean, Esther. You know! The leering eyes, the broad smiling faces of the men and the ready hot responses of the women, as though they were not human beings with the usual restraints and frustrations of human beings but wild animals continually in heat and endlessly rutting.