there is an imperative against telling outsiders the truth about anything

epub or mobi, with thanks to the original sharer

“And the thing I learned is this: I am what I am. I’m crazy, I’m hostile, I got a lot of drive, I got a lot of hate, a lot of fear. For most of my life I tried to put that away and be like other people, and therapy didn’t change me. But what I learned is and what I want to tell other people whether they’re kids or grownups or whatever they are: if you can get to the place where you can take whatever you are and use it out there in the world, not try to put it away and say I’m not angry, I’m a good boy, I’m not scared of the dark anymore … whatever your problem is … instead of going into the corner like a dog and chewing on your own feet. If you can take that … that whatever is in you, and turn it up and say that’s what the hell I am, an I gotta find a way to make that work, then you’ll be OK.” ...
He had eyelashes and an eyelid tattooed around his asshole. It looked just like a kind of bloodshot eye and he could make it wink. For $2 over and above the regular price of admission to the ten-in-one show, you could go behind a little curtain and he’d do it for you. Carnies have nothing but a deep, abiding contempt for marks and what they think of as the straight world, and nowhere is that contempt more vividly expressed than in the Tattooed Man’s response when I asked him why he had the eye put in there.

“Making them bastards pay two dollars to look up my asshole gives me more real pleasure than anything else I’ve ever done.”