Commuters, she thought. Life in the country. Get out of the city and into the country where you can really live. Live? It was a joke. Get out of the city, drive a car that isn’t paid for, live in a house that isn’t paid for, pinch every penny in the hope that it will change its color and become a dime. Live, live, live. Who was kidding whom? It was no different in the country than it was in the city. You went into debt just the same, you made mistakes just the same, and sometimes, if you got the chance, you really blew everything apart. Seven years of marriage, she thought, and where’s it gone? Well, that was a silly question. It hadn’t gone anywhere. Into the divorce court, that’s where it would finally go. As soon as that was finished, she would be free. Free? She’d never be free, not with this body, not with all the need that was within her. She’d always be a slave to the one thing in life that could take her all the way down. There was, she might just as well admit, only one thing she wanted from a man. Be honest with yourself, she thought. Stop pretending. You’re a bitch, pure bitch, and your brains are more in your belly than they are in your head. You’ve got just one thing on your mind. One thing. It was there all the time. One thing. One thing to set you on fire and make you burn like a wood furnace out of control. Wild. A fool. Trapped for seven years, like a kennel dog.
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