Joey was born with a malformed Siamese twin growing out of his back

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Grandpa Al Lewis’s politics were radical and to the left. There in the living room, with his cigar and classic New York accent, Lewis argued for the abolishment of New York’s harsh Rockefeller drug laws and the establishment of universal health care. John wasn’t into it.

“You give these lazy immigrants something free like that and you’ll never get rid of them.”

“Who wants to get rid of them except you?” Lewis said. “They built the country. Do you know how many Chinese immigrants died pounding out the Union Pacific Railroad, my friend? Hundreds!”

I had to laugh hearing John warn us about immigrants taking free stuff. All his T-shirts came from the band’s merchandise. He never under any circumstances bought underwear or socks. His mother always bought him a ton of them for Christmas and that was all he ever needed. John’s yearly wardrobe budget was zero dollars and zero cents.

Grandpa Al was more than a left-winger. He was an eccentric and one with a delusion here and there. He told us he served on the legal defense team of the 1920s anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti. There was no doubt Grandpa would have if he could have, but he was about eleven years old at the time. He also informed us that in the sixties he met Charles Manson, who babysat his sons. “He was a gentleman!” Grandpa said. Hearing this, Dee Dee started talking about his own sons, who didn’t even exist, and about his fictional days fighting the Vietcong. Someone should have grabbed a tape recorder, because this was an album.