I lost my mind. It was so fucking nasty and sexy. Dirty music.

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“I was sitting there and watching the Cramps, they were out of tune and falling all over the place. It was a trainwreck, so when they finished their audition, Hilly told them that they had failed and they were practically crying. I told them they could play at Max's, as long as they showed up with a tuning machine. They came down a couple of days later and Jayne will tell you, people were looking at me with that expression of what the hell was I thinking? I said, "Just wait, you will see." Suicide played on the same bill as the Cramps and it was a perfect match up. You have the hillbilly version and the New York City Times Square version.” Lux Interior: "We opened for Suicide a lot. We couldn't believe it. Marty was great at what he did, but Alan ... if somebody got up to go to the bathroom, he'd leap up and take the mic stand and block their path with it. He'd do stuff like that all the time intimidating the audience. It could get really scary sometimes."

I'd remembered reading about him on the walls of CBGB's bathrooms

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As we were all exiting the venue a sinister young man approached us. He was dressed in a long, black leather coat and hat, clutching a bible in one hand and a cross in the other, and had a group of followers behind him. Suddenly, he started preaching to the band, telling them to change their evil ways. He approached each member of the Ramones individually, wanting to "save them from themselves" and ranting on and on about how they should repent for the sake of saving their souls and change their devil-worshipping ways. "Repent or die! You must change your wicked ways or you will be cursed for life!" he screamed as we approached the van. Behind him, his followers were praying aloud and repeating the preacher's every word, cursing our very souls for denouncing god, and cursing each and every member of the band as we all piled into the van. Finally, after his pleas were ignored, falling on deaf ears, and we were all safely in the van, Johnny said to Monte, "Monte, get this fucking nut outta here!" We just laughed it off—"What a bunch of weirdo nut jobs."

makin' out, dancin' the frug, the swim and the mashed potatoes

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Things went from 35mm to the full 70mm in issue 15 with 'Mutant Monster Beach Party'. It was filmed in photographs and featured Debbie Harry as The Beach Bunny and Joey Ramone as the surfer boy. "Joey helped write scenes in 'Mutant Monster Beach Party' he wrote the scene where a UFO picks him up and takes him to the bikers. He also wrote some of the lyrics for the theme song. He ended up using them later on in Danny Says, 'You can't go surfing because it is twenty below." This example of paper cinema featured a host of guest stars appearing as themselves, including Andy Warhol, John Cale, Lester Bangs and various members of Blondie, the Patti Smith Group, Dictators and Voidoids. Great fun, although it totally bombed when it came to sales. "'Monster Mutant Beach Party' pretty much put us out of business. Both photo story issues were our worst sellers. We put them out there and nobody bought them. They are our most popular issues now, but at the time they were too radical even for our readers."

He’d thrown rocks at the Beatles when they played Shea Stadium

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Forest Hills was starting to make me nervous as well. It got so bad that I had to take a couple of reds and drink a pint of Gallo wine before I took the walk down 108th Street to Richie's parents apartment in Lefrak City. I was completely happy when I sniffed a tube of glue or a bottle of Carbona - it took you out as far as you could go. When I was high I would call special phone numbers to listen to the beep beep beep. Things would go buzz buzz buzz. sometimes, someone would come back from the supermarket with stolen cans of whipped cream. We used to huff the gas from the whipped cream cans to heighten the effect of the Carbona and the glue.

a bunch of lunatics and drag queens all out of our heads on drugs

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One night when I was DJing for a Siouxsie and the Banshees show at the Music Machine, I met Johnny Rotten for the first time. Johnny was a strange boy. After the show, there was a party up on the stage, and Jordan came up and introduced us. Johnny had been quoted in the press saying that Wayne County was the only woman he would ever consider marrying, so naturally I was curious to meet him. Johnny said, 'I hear you've got tits!', and he reached over and grabbed me and said, 'Naaah, my tits are bigger than that.' So I reached down and grabbed his cock and said, 'Yeah, and my cock's bigger than that.' We got on fine after that.

They were weird and different and didn't play songs like everybody else

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Lester Bangs: Rolling Stone had flown me up to San Francisco to check me out, since I had been writing for them for about six months. I guess they wanted to see if I was executive timber. I guess I wasn't, because not only did I get moved from Greil Marcus's to Langdon Winner's house after about two days, but I thought it was as curious that they sat around, not even smoking pot, but listening to Mother Earth and Creedence with absolute seriousness, as they were bewildered by my penchant for guzzling whiskey all day while blasting 'Sister Ray' at top volume ... to make a dismal story mercifully short, I discovered a magazine in Detroit called Creem, whose staff was so crazy they even put the Stooges on the cover. Of every issue! So I left my job and school and girlfriend and beer-drinking buddies and moved to Detroit, where my brand of degenerate drool would be not only tolerated but outright condoned, and over the five years I worked at Creem we used our basic love for it to exploit the punk aesthetic and stance in just about every way humanly possible.

THE MAGAZINE THAT DOESN’T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT!

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Slash: Tell us about the clubs in N.Y.

Lux: CBGB's is really the only club.

Slash: What about the "downtown bands"?

Lux: My personal opinion is, I think it's a good thing to keep those damned art-rock bands separated some place where they can drop out of art school and work out their neuroses! They don't know anything about rock 'n' roll. You can't dance to their music and I couldn't care less about it. I'm not interested in music you can't dance to. Get them out of the bars and put them in a loft!

Ivy: There are a lot of bands trying to get in at CBGBs but the art bands are keeping them out, they're cluttering up the place. They should call their music what it is. They should play for the artists in Soho. 

Lux: This "new wave," I don't know what it is. When rock 'n' roll changed to rock, it became acceptable. When punk rock changed to new wave it became acceptable and all these muck people started moving in.  Robert Christgau from the Village Voice despises us, so he won't write anything about us except snotty remarks and put-downs. He does not understand a goddam thing on what this band is about in the least. A hundred people told me the show we did at CBGB's was the best they'd ever seen and the review in the Village Voice called it "calculated ... sterile ... boring ... "