Mick Farren stormed into the marquee and
demanded that all food stocks be distributed to the masses. He demanded that Pepsi and Birds
Eye donate their entire on-site warehouse to the crowds, in return for a
favourable mention in his next speech. As a ‘symbolic act of protest against
élitism’, the alliance agreed to carry out a joint assault on the main fence.
From the stage, meanwhile, the harried MC kept preaching peace
and love and the spirit of Woodstock. The insurrection erupted at 10 a.m., led by two French anarchists with a
battering ram. ‘Zeeze kids are being toe-tally controlled by zooperpigs,’ one
of them yelled, thumping at the sheets of iron. ‘Ex-source-sted, wretchyard, sleeping in
zee pissoirs . . . Zeeeze
kids are worse than zeee Jews, at least zeee fuck’n Jews didn’t
pay to go to Auschwitz . . .’ Crash! The corrugated iron caved in. Two Angels,
a Panther and a Young Liberal squeezed into the arena, where, to their
astonishment, the oppressed masses joined the security guys and their Alsatians
in chucking them out and repairing the breach.